In former times it seemed to be a matter of course to talk about the ‘silent majority’. And it also seemed to be debatable: Did it exist?
These days we know: It does!
The statistics you get from business departments such as support, online and offline, confirm:
For any person letting a company, an organization, or platform know about their issues or problems or worries, there are around 100 silent ones who do not speak up. Some are too lazy. Some are too busy. Some are just too self-conscious, don’t dare to draw attention to themselves.
Whatever the reasons may be: I also know from actual experience how often people in everyday life underestimate the universal facts of human life:
Emotions, feelings, worries and also joy so often are felt very similarly. Yet, very often also people don’t know about that and therefore feel disconnected.
Sharing helps: Experience, emotions, and thoughts. And my blog is one place where I like to share for exactly that reason. To help and to spread perhaps a (little) light of understanding.
‘Social media’ have their limitations and their uses. I use them with care – but I also know what I do not need. I can only share with any of my readers who are wondering: Make sure you ‘turn them off’ regularly, too.
Just as in former times people were wondering about being ‘in’, about ‘belonging’, so can social media these days create the impression that some things are crucial and should and have to be followed in order to be up-to-date.
That is NOT the case!
At some point you will – especially if yet young – come to realize that not ‘every thing’ is worth your while – nor ‘every body’.
Yes, the downside can be that there are people who use these channels just as they would ‘real life meetings’: To bother and torture others they find irritating.
Because that is what bullies do: They try to ‘remove’ the concept, the idea of life that seems to call their own into question.
And there are those that just have to be right, because being wrong is not contained in their own image of themselves. Almost sad really: They usually grow up believing that making mistakes is basically some sort of ‘sin’.
The thing that must not be.
I personally like to deal with social media a little like a tool that can be sharp and should be handled with care and laid down when not necessary anymore.
I like to observe a certain way of being respectful and polite.
But I also know that just as in real life there are all kinds of people around.
But I do not like to be around any kind of people… neither online, nor offline. I stick to my values and aim at spending quality time only with people of like mind.
My father put it rather graphically this way, in regard to judging the majority’s beliefs:
“If a million flies sit on excrement – do you have to sit there too?”
The other day I came across another rather shocking fact in a documentary: The faked and montaged images of a female reporter who was close to exposing damaging truths about a politician: Even before AI putting a face with any other body found online or offline in a photograph was not uncommon or unheard of.
These days politicians such as somebody like Brazil’s former president Bolsonaro who is close to other right-wing politicians such as Trump are frequently turning to smear campaigns with falsified evidence that mean to destroy credibility or reputation of the targeted person.
I think too, that just as was the case in former times, when printed tabloids, or even before that, in the times of the ballads sung on street corners supported by huge drawings, made for sensationalism – rumour, legend and truth should actually be differentiated with care.
In this digital age it’s easy and fast to ‘make it up’… in every sense.
Don’t underestimate people’s suggestiveness in regard to ‘sensations’.
And if you would be interested in the truth: Check the facts and your sources – carefully.
I have posted about wars. This is about the smaller ones in everyday life. We can make an issue out of every little thing. Sometimes, people will misunderstand it if we don’t. I had to fight a lot in the course of my life. I learned one thing for sure:
Many things can become big, even huge in the eyes of the world ‒ or our own ‒ if we make them that. Fighting is proven to ‘take it out of you’: You can become angry, even furious once you have chosen the issue. You start an argument, perhaps. Things even may escalate into a full-blown conflict that rages for years.
And for what, really? So often we will come to realize that a lot of things are not worth the energy, because:
Fighting saps one’s strength.
I am not talking about becoming angry ‒ and letting off steam. That’s important in a healthy way and done safely in order to not hurt others.
But fighting?
Fighting takes it out of you, the effects can become really dangerous to our system. Because, the way we deal with anger or even frustration is something we can learn ‒ and manage. So much in life depends on how we look at it. Strong emotions are part of our mindset ‒ that is also: part of how we evaluate what happens to us.
The first flush of anger may be involuntary ‒ but after that, it’s a choice. To save health and nerves and keep frustration at bay.
Because, also, so often looking back, we may regret unnecessary fights, especially with people we like or love.
That’s why I make it a point in my life ‒ and a plea here for all who are wondering: Pick your battles. The next one may be really worth it.
Author’s Note:
I write about such things because I learned early in life how easily we all tend to make our life difficult or even hurt the other’s feelings without meaning to. Misunderstandings too, are easy. I have a strong background in workplace psychology, among many other fields of interest, be that history, philosophy ‒ or politics. I also have come across many misjudgements in life ‒ in private life or in business. Enlightenment is a philosophical approach and subject ‒ to me it is essential to understand ‒ and make understood.
Screenshot taken from democrats.org at 18-08-2024_15-44-37 CEST — showing Kamala Harris, Joe Biden and followers
The former president D. Trump running for office again and being part of that party misleadingly calling itself “Republicans” is not to be pitied.
I wonder if it wasn’t a ruse even — that attack. But that is actually not really important at this time. He is neither to be trusted nor is he a good man, or ever was.
He has hurt thousands of ‘little’ people during the 1970s that had trusted him and his enterprise, ruining their existence by taking their money and getting out in time himself.
He was best buddy to president Putin in Russia, who even supported his election the first time using illegal, online measures that have been proven.
Link to the Pulitzer Prize committee‘s official site, stating that fact:
Seems he is billions of dollars ‘worth’ — but when you look at his deeds (not his words) you will find it proven, too:
He ist not worth your vote.
Why Democrats? Because although being human and thus not flawless — they are the only ones smart and strong enough to prevent the hell of a second presidency of that Republican sorry-excuse-for-a-man.
Vote for peace and equality.
It’s the Bible even, that says it clearly:
“You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?”
(English Standard Version, 2016)
There’s no doubt about it, war is always a means to an end…which is tragic and cruel, no doubt about that either.
Yet, war has some striking differences to other kinds of conflict in human life!
It practically never happens over night, without any warnings or talks in advance, usually power and money are involved. At the same time, in practically any case you may want to look at in recent or ancient history, the fame or the dignity of a country or its leader(s) was a ‘bone of contention’ as well.
The diverse political societies and international organizations show the will to ‘power games’, and also the need for a sort of balance in power.
There’s always a way, if we keep talking and negotiating, in politics — as well as in every day life. The recent problems apparently occurring between Iran and other nuclear power-holding countries could have been avoided, if under the last but one US-government the contracts with Iran hadn’t been cancelled — completely irresponsibly. Where it had taken close on ten years negotiating those in the first place.
One very deciding aspect of eventually successful negotiating is ‘putting yourself into your opponents shoes’. Try imagining what it would be like to be on their side, even if only for a while.
Alas, it seems, every generation has to learn all the lessons of the past all over again. That’s why proper and enlightened education is so crucial for our children! And grandchildren and great-grandchildren, because: As long as this planet and its peoples are revolving, living, breathing, I refuse to call any generation ‘the last’!
In other words: Where’s life, there’s hope!
So many of the forecasts of also recent as well as ancient history proved to be wrong!
To ‘throw in the towel’ long before anything is desperate or dead, really, is no option.
“My way – or the highway?” In many parts of the world we can see people believing that there is only one way – or another. That other people or their behaviour or their ideas are one of two things: Black or White. A duality concept.
In truth, life and situations and people are colourful, like a kaleidoscope. Sometimes, when you are full of emotion, such as anger, wrath or a loving passion, the emotion has no ‘colour’ in the mind — it’s more of a temperature, perhaps, rather cold, or rather hot… and if you would start thinking and getting to know yourself or your emotion(s) better you would find out more details – and start finding words for them.
To think that there are only two sides to a coin is a rather narrow concept. You wil miss out on all the other possibilities – or colours.
Sometimes, when we are very sure that only one way or solution is right — at least for us — we tend to judge harshly.
That way we will overlook all the other — even beautiful — colours, in a situation, a solution to a problem — or a character.
Even peace or peaceful coexistence become easier to find, if we allow for alternatives, see the ‘other colours’, the full picture.
The big idea.
And should you wonder if that was too much bother — you may want to think again: Is peace really so much more difficult, than war — or conflict? And when was it written that the good or the better things always are easy…?
Sigmund Freud in many countries today is known to be the harbinger of truth as regards (among other things) sexuality or passionate love or bodily love, whichever term you prefer.
Contrary to traditional (religious) messages, he taught us that it is quite natural to feel the urge – even for women (!), “lo and behold”, it was, at the time – for a loving relationship of bodies…
Surprisingly, this took a while to get started for real as a general idea; around 50-70 years until the larger part of the population caught up with it; and until the idea found its way into marketing and movies… ’cause ‘sex sells’ (too).
The consequence seems to be that people get it confused with the fundamental human needs: those are the need for food and water, clothing and shelter. They are the basic needs we have to fulfill in order to survive.
Sex is not that type: It’s an urge, an impulse perhaps, less scientifically put – but not a need. You won’t die not having it, nor perish – and you will not become crazy – as long as you can feel it yet.
One or the other of my readers may feel disappointed: What, after all these years of hunting for and after it – no need?
Yes – or no. It’s not.
Of course, one may feel frustrated at times for the lack of a meaningful relationship of that kind: Passionate.
Sad, perhaps.
But, believe it or not : you won’t die.
To me that’s another part of personal freedom: I can decide, every day. It’s not a need, an obligation or a gap to fill… it’s the snowy, fluffy top of a sweetmeat in the shape of whipped cream… or the icing to the cake… ‘nice to have’, but to me neither casual nor arbitrary nor to be had in any kind of ‘numbers’.
If you love for beauty
If you love for beauty,
O love not me!
Love the sun,
She has golden hair.
If you love for youth,
O love not me!
Love the spring
Which is young each year.
If you love for riches,
O love not me!
Love the mermaid
Who has many shining pearls.
If you love for love,
Ah yes, love me!
Love me always,
I shall love you ever more.
Gladiator in ancient Rome fighting lion – Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons, public domain
My father was apt to express his opinions rather drastically at times. One of them was:
“If 1 million flies sit on sh…t – you have to sit there too?”
Both our parents always encouraged, even urged us to look behind images and the mere surface. Don’t be satisfied with the second best, too.
I learned at an early age that in philosophy there exists the subject of ‘epistemology’:
It states basically that humans will best understand based on previous lessons. So, if you have learned about some types of people, your own family and friends, major contacts and their ideas, you will be best at recognizing those in others, again. But more ideas and very different outlooks will be hard to grasp – or stay invisible.
There is the idea of competition: It‘s a major concept in capitalism; originally stemming from mercantile surroundings it has invaded our whole lives with that idea of constant competition, at least where it took over earlier modes of thought and evaluating people:
What is best, is determined based on the majority – or the perceived majority – of high numbers. Since high numbers promise profit.
For some reason people started to confuse the high numbers, the majority, with quality: As if adhering to fashionable, even if only apparently, fashionable ideas and appearances would make you finer automatically…
Well, depending on one‘s own measurements, the yardstick, or aspirations, one might think that high profit is good, therefore high numbers are.
But history also has shown and actual events still show that for one thing, those screaming loudest are not always right; in marketing, for example.
And that loud screaming does not always represent the real, the ‚silent‘ majority.
To boot, quality is really determined by intrinsic values or criteria, not outside ones. Always has. Always will be.
In some cases it can hurt to find yourself outside a group… but only until you start realizing that not all groups are desirable to be a member of, just because they seem to be large.
Values and measurements exist for things, and for people as well as their behaviour.
Should you be wondering on what to think about a person or some concepts, facts – or ‚screamers‘ – check values, the basic, fine values that make people and the community strong – and happy(ier).
That‘s a good starting point.
The traditional, age old approach, not to say unwritten law, is this:
Woman is decorative, enticing, alluring and eventually going out of her way to please a man/men.
Men look at women and judge them (sometimes harshly) by their looks.
When somebody decides in this ‘game’, it’s the man, who takes the steps, makes the move.
The woman is supposed to show her utter delight with the fact that the man actually ‘deigns’ to take notice of her and perhaps even is willing to have sex or – God forbid – a relationship with her…
Behind it is the yet strong but older concept of women being dependent on men, for provision and – protection.
The idea that women live for themselves, depending on each other rather than men is even older, though.
This is another aspect of love and (power) relationships I have posted more than once about… a central subject in human art forms, apart perhaps from war…
Another not so pretty example is what can happen in business and has been even subject of major Hollywood feature movies such as “Disclosure”, 1994, starring Demi Moore and Michael Douglas: The power relation traditionally being the man in power and the woman almost forced to have sex with him in order to stay safe, in place – or get promoted.
It’s been reversed for this movie – and at the time caused a heated discussion as to how realistic the movie was – or if it wasn’t rather making the story too voyeuristic to be of any real value…
I am personally lucky to never actually have been subject to such treatment.
Partly due to my personal preference I believe to choose rather than be chosen…
Yet, my heart goes out to all of those women who still for one reason or another feel compelled or even forced into relations – rather than relationships – because they fear to be alone; to be without a man; and be ultimately judged by that fact by the community or their surroundings.
Finally, one point I’d like to raise too is another craze I seem to have observed in the course of a rather long life:
The idea that as a woman, indeed a human being, you would naturally be inclined to have sex on any occasion presenting itself because in modern times we’ve learned it’s natural…? The more the better…?
I’d like to point out that there is ample proof of man (and woman) being in possession of what has been called a soul – as well as a body – and that a human body is more than the sum of its parts…
I am, simply put, for that equation:
Every man and woman ‘their way’ – as long as we are talking about consenting adults.
I like too, how it was put in that fine scene from the movie “Harry and Sally”, considered to be a classic these days:
: you won’t die.
